Saturday, 28 April 2012

The Right Ear Dictionary 4: The Left

The Left (collective noun)
1. A  broad umbrella term encompassing wide spectrum of views from centre-left to far-left. Includes liberals, social democrats, progressives, democratic socialists, revolutionary socialists, Trotskyists, communists and anarchists. Tend to generally emphasise social justice and equality, but within that contains widely-differing stances on a large variety of issues.
2. Borg-like hive mind, taking telepathic instructions from The Left HQ. Always think and do exactly the same thing, without question or variation. Focused with a steely resolve on destruction of all things good and decent, for no other reason than the inherent evil of The Left.

I would respond in detail, to the above tweets, but unfortunately I've just had a memo from The Left HQ. The party line to follow is that I''m a coward and a knuckledragger. I'm too frightened to deal with reality, I hate anyone who has different thoughts to me, I hate diversity and I'm behind the rest of society. Therefore I must focus on denying Jihad, losing my bottle and giving up the streets.

The Left HQ is so demanding. I have to get all that done, and I was hoping to do some shopping today.


  1. Funny, really: it's always seemed to me that there's a far greater diversity of thought on the Left than on the Right. My theory is that the (mainstream) Right tends to see itself as the natural party of government and as such doesn't usually feel the need to subject the existing institutions of state to a critique tinged with the ideology of the person(s) doing the critiquing - and so debates amongst the non-radical right tend to amount to little more than questions about how best to administrate the state.

  2. And by contrast, if you throw a dozen leftists in a room together, you'll generally have a dozen different theories of how the universe works. Anyone who thinks the left are a unified bloc should try organising a protest march.